Thoughts on birthdays
I have a few race recaps (and more races to come), but I really wanted to take a few moments to document my thoughts and feelings after celebrating my 32nd birthday Wednesday.
I posted this image yesterday on my personal facebook page as well as instagram. As the day went on Wednesday and messages rolled in from friends and family, I teared up a little.
A few weeks back, someone posted something pretty hateful about me and a friend. Although no names were mentioned, it was obvious it was referring to us due to the situation described. I am not going to lie, it upset and angered me. There were a lot of half truths in there and I began to fear the worst. What if people read it and thought less of me? What if people actually believed that I was this person they were trying to make me out to be? After talking it through with my husband and a close friend, I felt a lot better but it still bothered me.
It is one thing to be firm in knowing who you are and it is another to wonder if , in a situation like this, a few paragraphs can sway someone's otherwise positive view of who you are.
Honestly, looking back at the whole thing, I should have ignored it all. I did to an extent, but still let it bother me for a little bit. More that the portrayal was not even half of the truth.
After receiving so many genuinely wonderful birthday wishes and posts from friends I truly cherish, I could no longer care less about that post. The situation with this other person was a childish one and one I never should have let have an effect on me. That person was someone that I chose to distance myself from and it ended badly (not on my behalf). That decision is not one that I regret, especially looking back at things over the past year.
I have never really had to distance myself from anyone. I am genuinely friendly and kind; I am confident that most anyone who knows me would agree. Sometimes we just have to make decisions to stop communicating with or associating with someone because of the negative effects they have on us. I came to that conclusion and stuck with it. I didn't owe anyone an explanation. If someone causes you stress or negatively, I feel that we have every right to stop that relationship dead in it's tracks. In this case, I was asked for an explanation, despite not talking much for over a year, and the other person lashed out at me for being honest.
This was a very new lesson for me this year. There is definitely something to the saying that as you get older, it is less about having more friends and more about having quality friends.
I have had some great friends over the years and still keep in touch with many of them. Year 31 brought me even more amazing friends and ones that I hope will stick around for a long time. Running continues to bring me to people that I can laugh with, cry with, celebrate with, and just genuinely enjoy their company. Life really is too short to have "friends" who toss you to the side when something better comes along and do not value your friendship and individuality.
So why am I sharing this today? I felt that I really needed to write down and share how I am feeling so that some day I can look back and and remember how that the opinion of one person is just that- one person's opinion.
My husband was so sweet and reminded me that I am an amazing woman and do many positive things for others. These are things that I knew about myself already, but it never hurts to hear the words from someone else. It is all too easy to let the words (true or false) of another make us question ourselves.
My reminder to myself as I go embark on year 32 is this.
Life is not perfect. Everyone's journey is different. Just because I often think my life would be different than what it is now, doesn't mean it is wrong. After celebrating my birthday Wednesday, I remembered so clearly that where I am is exactly where I am supposed to be. All of the characters in my story are the ones that are supposed to be there and unquestionably so. Words truly cannot express the love I have for my true inner circle of friends and family. I am not one to throw around this word, so know that I really mean it and believe it with every piece of my being- I am BLESSED. Blessed with so much. So here goes year 32.
Does anyone else get sentimental and weird on birthdays, or just me? Does it happen more so on certain years?